When tragedy struck the life of Maggie Kate and her family after she lost her brother in a car wreck, she would not have recovered except with God's amazing grace. I know Maggie Kate personally and went to high school with her. I have watched her slowly recuperate through supportive family and friends, and she has never failed to give God the glory. The death of Sam Clayton Kelly, Walker Kelly and Mason Wilbanks shook our town to its core. To watch three young boys with such ambition and passion for life be taken before their time is a difficult thing to accept. The accident has impacted me beyond measure, and I have come to the realization that not only is there life after death, but if she can trust in God through such great loss, what's our excuse?
Describe your brother for those of us who never knew him. What was he like? What were his favorite things? Did you share any inside jokes? What memories do you have of him? What was your relationship like with him?
My brother was one of the best guys I've ever known. I am not just saying this now because he's gone- I've always said it. My exact words in his last birthday card were, "I hope the man I marry is at least half the man you have become and has at least half the heart you do." I've never met a single person who knew my brother and didn't like him. Over the years, he grew from a shy, smart, sport loving little boy into an outgoing best friend who everyone adored and knew they could count on.
He was also brilliant- 30 on the ACT, in the honors college at ole miss, and constantly tutoring all his friends in classes like college algebra (which he could do with his eyes closed). He was majoring in Biology in hopes to become a radiologist. He was also an avid ole miss fan. Good and bad seasons, he remained true to his rebels. Although, he was not very pleasant to be around after bad losses at football games, and it wasn't uncommon not to hear from him for the remainder of the day if mississippi state beat ole miss. He owned nothing maroon, but I did eventually end up getting him to at least come visit me in Starkville.
He also loved baseball - particularly the Atlanta Braves and Chipper Jones. He grew up playing baseball and was the manager for Madison Central. He pledged KA at Ole Miss, and he was absolutely loving life and freshman year. He called me the first day of class worried he might not find his classes. As we chatted, I asked what he wore to class (I wear tshirts everyday), but not Sam Clayton. He informed me he had on cole hann's, khaki shorts, and a columbia shirt. He was ALWAYS dressing up and wore enough cologne to choke you, but he did always smell good.
That was unless he was going to the woods, where he spent the majority of fall and winter weekends when he was not attending football games. He was an avid hunter and loved being at our deer camp, Bucktail, with my dad. He was always the luckiest one in the woods, too. He killed a big deer every. single. year.
But, to describe our relationship personally, I guess I could say this - we never fought. Which is weird for siblings, I know, but we really never did. Unless he was getting on to me about doing something I shouldn't have been doing. You see, my little brother was the responsible one, almost like he was the oldest, he was always looking out for me and Anna Claire (my sister). No matter the circumstance. We had the kind of relationship that we could sit and talk for hours, about everything and nothing at the same time. It wasn't weird to hang out just us, because we weren't just brother and sister, we were friends. We went to movies, we went to eat, we just hung out. He was the best little brother anyone could ever ask for- and I really mean that.
What were you doing before you got word about your brother's accident? Describe the day - what was the weather like? What were your thoughts pre-accident? What conversations were had?
The accident was on a Sunday morning. Sam Clayton had come home the night before to surprise us, and we all went to dinner at El Ranchito- our family favorite. But he had to wake up early that morning to go back to Oxford for church with his pledge class. I woke up to go to church after he had already left, and I went to take my boyfriend breakfast.
Looking back is really weird, because the wreck occured around 8:30, which is when I was at Zack's, but I had no idea. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, sunshine, not too hot, not too cold. I sat with my parents at church. My little sister was sitting with her friends. I left my cell phone in the car for some reason, which is weird, because I never do that, but looking back, I guess it was God. You see, God always knows right where you need to be, and what needs to happen. Which is why we received the tragic news that Sunday morning at church, in His house.
Where were you when you got news of your brothers accident? How did you feel? How did you react? What did you do?
As the service was ending, a chief of police of Madison came and got my dad out of church. We were standing and singing, so I never saw him, I just thought he walked out for some odd reason, then my mom left too, which I remember thinking was weird. Next, Anna Claire came to ask me what was going on, I responded that I didn't know and we kept on singing. Next thing I remember is Coach Bobby Hall coming to get me and Anna Claire and saying we needed to come with him. He lead us to the church's chapel where my mom and dad were standing with random people I don't remember. They were crying, and I didn't know why. Never once did it cross my mind that something had happened to Sam Clayton.
Anna Claire asked what was wrong, what happened. And my dad said, "it's Sam Clayton, baby, he had an accident." I remember Anna Claire immediately bursting into tears saying, "NO! Is he okay?!" At this point my head was spinning, I had not said a word, but for some reason I remember expecting my dad to say that he was hurt and in the hospital. Never once did I think he was gone. But then he said it, "No, baby, he did not make it." She asked about Mason and Walker, and he responded none of them made it.
After that, it's hard to remember everything. I remember me, my mom, my dad, and my sister, just grabbing each other, embraced in a hug, holding on for dear life as our world crashed around us. Tears flowing, and cries escaping begging God for this not to be true. The next thing I remember is Mason's family being brought in to join us and then before I knew it the room was filled with friends and family and preachers and tears. Tears everywhere. I particularly remember seeing one of the boys best friends, Tyler Morton, dropped at his knees on the alter. My boyfriend, Zack, had not come to church with me, and was one of the only people I wanted to talk to.
I found someones phone and tried to call him, no answer. So I called his best friend, Josh Schmidt, and poured my heart out when he picked up the phone. I needed him to get to Zack before he heard from someone else, and Josh never thought twice. Before I knew it, he had gotten to Zack's, and Zack had called me back before I even left the church. I still think about Josh doing that for me, and don't really know how I'll ever thank him for doing something that I know was so hard.
As we were finally leaving the church I remember seeing Walker's family by the back door, crying, and they had just gotten there. I remember my mom hugging his, even though we were all complete strangers. Someone piled my family in their tahoe and took us to my grandmothers, I remember feeling like a zombie as we walked in and told her. She cried, but I don't think I shed a tear. I was in complete shock as I helped her dress, I don't even remember talking.
We then went to my house where my dad had told everyone who wanted to come to come. Zack was waiting in the driveway. I did not know until a few months ago that he actually had practically carried my little sister inside. I thought I had fallen into him right away, but he said I was just like a zombie, no expression, just walking, in utter shock still. That's how I remained the rest of the day as people flowed in and out of my house. Friends, family, neighbors, strangers, food galore, but I couldn't eat a thing.
Zack changed my clothes, and held me as I finally just fell into him and sobbed and screamed in pain and anger. Why in the world would God do this to me and my family. The only part of that day I really remember is that night, I walked onto my back porch and all the kids had gather, my age, my brothers and my sisters. Everyone was just sitting and standing around. And then I listened. There was music. Blake Graves was playing the guitar and everyone of these broken hearted kids were singing to God, pouring their hearts out as the tears still fell. Me and Zack sat down and joined in.
That night I didn't sleep. Zack stayed with me and held me as I sobbed. I think I was still in shock, though, because during all of this I don't really remember thinking about much of anything. More just like robotic motions. At 4 am, I got out of bed and went to my parents room, Anna Claire had beat me there, we piled into bed with my mom and dad and we all just cried and talked for the rest of the morning. Telling stories about Sam Clayton and holding onto each other.
What was life like after that? How did you and your family cope?
Life after the accident was so different. I remember for weeks thinking that the tears were never going to stop, each day it was a battle to get out of bed and face the day ahead with this lingering pain. I don't remember how long it was before I went an entire day without crying, but it was a while. My family was broken. It was different and we all knew it, and we didn't know how we were going to put these pieces back together. My family coped by taking things one day at a time, which we are still doing. We held on to each other and our amazing support system. Everyone was so kind- friends, family, church, work people, everyone. But as time went on, I think we came to realize, it's not about putting all the pieces back together. It's about doing what we can and healing in your own way in your own time. There will always be scars and missing parts, but Sam Clayton was a gift that God granted us with for 18 years, and that is something we will always cherish. He will always be a part of our famliy. Mine and Anna Claire's favorite saying is, "Forever a family of 5." Because no matter where he is, he is still a part of us. That will never change.
I would have to say God was not only in this situation, but ALL OVER IT. Looking back on the past year, there is no question in my mind that God had this planned out so specifically. However, at first, I really had a hard time coming to grips with this fact. After the accident, I felt a whole lot of things. I often questioned God and why in the world he would do such a thing. Especially to my little brother, and his two friends, who were SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. I remember thinking, now God, Sam Clayton was a lot better person than me, why him. Why not me? I had a car accident 3 days before his accident and walked away without a scratch. WHY NOT ME? Why not all these crazy people who drink and drive. Why my precious, responsible, honest, caring, wonderful little brother. WHY WHY WHY. And then I just got mad at God, I remember saying many times I wanted to kick out a window, because this just was not fair. It wasn't fair that he didn't get to graduate college and get married and it wasn't fair that my amazing parents were so sad and it wasn't fair that they were so young and it wasn't fair that I hurt so bad. So, I went out and bought myself a devotion, a new bible, and journal and had a come to Jesus with this God of mine. I remember thinking, "God, if you are really real, and if you really have some kind of reasoning for all of this hurt, show me. Help me understand." And that's what he did.
Day by day, week by week, the puzzle starting forming a picture. It started with all of the lives accepting Christ at Ole Miss and and it keeps going to this day. He showed me changed hearts, he showed me angels, he showed me compassion, he showed me his faithfulness that never ends, He showed me why. My heart changed over the past year, and I cannot give you a specific moment as when, because there are so many different times that God said, "Here, Maggie Kate. This is why." "Right here, Maggie Kate, this is the other reason." "This person, Maggie Kate, they found me because of this tragic event." "This heart, Maggie Kate, it has changed and become unhardened." "THIS WAS MY PLAN, MAGGIE KATE KELLY." "I did not pick you because you still need work."I did not pick the drunk driver who crashed his truck into a tree, because he still needed to find my love." "I picked your brother, Mason, and Walker, because THEY WERE READY."
And they were. And now because of them, all these lives have been touched, and my life is not just about me anymore. It's about what I can do. Who I can help. Why God put me here in this circumstance. And I truly believe it was to take me off the detoured path that so many college students these days find themselves on, and help me return to his path for me. I have an unwavering faith now that I have never known.
What advice would you give people who are coping with the loss of a loved one?
My advice for someone who has lost a loved one- hold on. Take it one day at a time, or one hour if you have to. Trust God. And don't give up on Him, because he has a plan. No matter how long it takes to see, you'll find it. It's not going to be easy. I wish there was some kind of magic advice that I could give that would instantly remove any pain. But God did not promise us that we would feel no pain, just that we would feel no pain that was unnecessary. And that we would never hurt alone. I do not know how anyone could make it through something like this without God. Because His promises are truly the only thing that kept me hanging on at some points. And the promise of eternity with Him, and my little brother, that is what keeps me hanging on everyday. My anxiousness to get to this amazing place where there is no pain, no tears, and no hurt. Where everything is white and gold and beautiful...and everyone is together again.
Favorite bible verse?
"When I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalm 56:3
My mom taught me this verse. Her brother used to repeat it to her when she was scared at night when she was little. And now I repeat it almost daily when I feel like I am facing things that I don't know if I can handle.
My mom taught me this verse. Her brother used to repeat it to her when she was scared at night when she was little. And now I repeat it almost daily when I feel like I am facing things that I don't know if I can handle.
"Though they may stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by hand." Psalm 37:24
A daily reminder, that even when I think I am crashing by the second, I will never actually hit the ground, because God has got my back.
A daily reminder, that even when I think I am crashing by the second, I will never actually hit the ground, because God has got my back.
"The Lord is close to the broken hearted. He saves those who are crushed in spirit."
If you had to tell someone why you're a Christian, you would say…
I am a Christian because when everything else changes, God doesn't. Day in and day out, He remains faithful, even when I fail or question him or get angry with him. He never gives up on me or stops loving me. Can you truly say that about anyone else in this world? What kind of love is that?
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